Episode 13: Great Expectations
January 25, 2007
Opening:
No one believes their life will turn out just “kind of” okay. We all think we’re going to be great. And from the day we decide to be surgeons, we are filled with expectation. Expectations of the trails we will blaze, the people we will help, the difference we will make. Great expectations of who we will be. Where we will go.
And then… we get there.
Closing:
We all think we’re going to be great. And we feel a little bit robbed when our expectations aren’t met. But, sometimes, our expectations sell us short. Sometimes, the expected simply pales in comparison to the unexpected.
You gotta wonder why we cling to our expectations. Because the expected is just what keeps us steady… standing… still. The expected is just the beginning.
The unexpected… is what changes our lives.
Episode 14: Wishin’ and Hopin’
February 1, 2007
Opening:
As surgeons, we live in a world of worst-case scenarios. We cut ourselves off from hoping for the best, because too many times, the best doesn’t happen. But, every now and then, something extraordinary occurs. And suddenly… best-case scenarios seem possible.
And every now and then, something amazing happens. And against our better judgment… we start to have hope.
Closing:
As doctors, we’re trained to give our patients just the facts. But what our patients really want to know is, will the pain ever go away? Will I feel better? Am I cured? What our patients really want to know… is, is there hope?
But, inevitably, there are times when you find yourself in the worst case scenario. When the patient’s body has betrayed them, and all the science we have to offer has failed them. When the worst-case scenario comes true, clinging to hope, is all we’ve got left.
Episode 15: Walk on Water
February 8, 2007
Opening:
Disappearances happen in science. Diseases can suddenly fade away. Tumors go missing. We open someone up to discover the cancer is gone. It’s unexplained, it’s rare, but it happens. We call it misdiagnosis, say we never saw it in the first place. Any explanation but the truth.
That life is full of vanishing acts. If something that we didn’t know we had disappears, do we miss it?
Episode 16: Drowning on Dry Land
February 15, 2007
Opening:
Like I said… disappearances happen… pains go phantom… blood stops running… and people, people fade away.
There’s more I have to say… so much more. But… I’ve disappeared.
Episode 17: Some Kind of Miracle
February 22, 2007
Opening:
There are medical miracles. Being worshipers of the altar of science, we don’t like to believe miracles exist. But they do. Things happen. We can’t explain them. We can’t control them… But they do happen.
Miracles do happen in medicine. They happen every day. Just not always when we need them to happen…
Closing:
At the end of a day like this, a day when so many prayers are answered, and so many aren’t… We take our miracles where we find them. We reach across the gap, and sometimes, against all odds… against all logic, we touch.
Episode 18: Scars and Souvenirs
March 15, 2007
Opening:
People have scars in all sorts of unexpected places. Like secret road maps of their personal histories, diagrams of all of their old wounds. Most of our old wounds heal, leaving nothing behind but a scar. But some of them, don’t.
Some wounds, we carry with us everywhere… and though the cut is long gone, the pain still lingers.
Closing:
What’s worse? New wounds, which are so horribly painful, or old wounds, which should have healed years ago, and never did? Maybe our old wounds teach us something. They remind us where we’ve been, and what we’ve overcome. They teach us lessons about what to avoid in the future. That’s what we like to think.
But that’s not the way it is, is it? Some things we just have to learn over and over and over… again.
Episode 19: My Favorite Mistake
March 22, 2007
Opening:
Surgeons always have a plan. Where to cut, where to clamp, where to stitch. But, even with the best plans, complications can arise. Things can go wrong.
And suddenly, you’re caught with your pants down.
Closing:
The thing about plans is, they don’t take into account the unexpected. So when we’re thrown a curve ball, whether it’s in the O.R., or in life… we have to improvise. Of course, some of us are better at it, than others. Some of us just have to move on to plan B, and make the best of it.
And sometimes… what we want… is exactly what we need.
Episode 20: Time After Time
April 19, 2007
Opening:
A patient’s history is as important as their symptoms. It’s what helps us decide if heartburn is a heart attack, if a headache is a tumor…
Sometimes, patients will try to re-write their own histories. They’ll claim they don’t smoke, or forget to mention certain drugs, which, in surgery, can be the kiss of death.
We can ignore it all we want… but our history, eventually always comes back to haunt us.
Closing:
Some people believe that without history, our lives amount to nothing. At some point, we all have to choose. Do we fall back on what we know? Or, do we step forward, to something new? It’s hard not to be haunted by our past. Our history is what shapes us, what guides us.
Our history resurfaces. Time, after time, after time. So we have to remember. Sometimes, the most important history, is the history we’re making today.
Episode 21: Desire
April 26, 2007
Opening:
As interns, we know what we want. To become surgeons. And we’ll do anything to get there. Suffer through killer exams. Endure 100-hour weeks, Stand for hours on end in operating rooms, you name it, we’ll do it.
The tough part though, is, reconciling this huge thing we want – to be surgeons, with everything else we want.
Closing:
Too often, the thing you want most, is the one thing you can’t have. Desire leaves us heartbroken. It wears us out. Desire can wreck your life.
But as tough as wanting something can be… the people who suffer the most, are those who don’t know what they want.
Episode 22: The Other Side of This Life: Part I & II
May 3, 2007
Opening:
The dream is this: That we’ll finally be happy when we reach our goals. Find the guy, finish our internship… that’s the dream. Then we get there… and if we’re human, we immediately start dreaming of something else. Because if this is the dream… then we’d like to wake up. Now, please.
Closing:
At some point, maybe we accept that the dream has become a nightmare. We tell ourselves the reality is better. We convince ourselves it’s better that we never dream at all. But the strongest of us, the most determined of us, we hold on to the dream.
Or, we find ourselves faced with a fresh dream we never considered. We awake to find ourselves… against all odds…. feeling hopeful. And if we’re lucky… we realize, in the face of everything, in the face of life… the true dream… is being able to dream, at all.
Episode 24: Testing 1-2-3
May 10, 2007
Opening:
A surgeon’s education never ends. Every patient, every symptom, every operation is a test. A chance for us to demonstrate how much we know… and how much more we have to learn.
Episode 25: Didn’t We Almost Have It All?
May 17, 2007
Opening:
(Richard) Being chief is about responsibility. Every single surgical patient in the hospital is your patient, whether you’re the one who cut them open or not. The scalpel stops with you. You need to be able to look at a family… and tell them your team did everything they could to save someone’s child… their husband… their wife. You get caught up, taking care of other people’s families. And the responsibility… it makes you… you take care of other people’s families.
And you sacrifice your own.
